If you're sad and like beer, I'm your lady. ([info]shes_a_wee_lass) wrote,
@ 2009-02-26 07:31:00
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Change your uterus, change your life.
For quite a long time I've wanted to make sure I never have babies. Hormone-based birth control is a terrible idea. Who wants to trick their body into thinking it is pregnant for years at a time? Gross.
When I was on the pill I'd sometimes forget to take it and as I've become older, had mood swings if I'm taking it. I was on the patch and didn't feel crazy, but my skin sheds like hell and around day five it was practically hanging off. Not to mention that seven days of fuzz around a little brown square on your ass is kind of not at all attractive.
I tried a pill that was the same hormone mix as the patch but became severely depressed and didn't really want to even look at another human being, much less fuck them, so I've concluded that me and pregnancy hormones are like the Middle East.

So, I think I've whittled down my options and actually made a decision. I was going to get my tubes tied but there's a new procedure called Essure. It's definitely not reversible whatsoever. They jam coils in your fallopian tubes, scar tissue grows around it and blocks your baby-makin' eggs from makin' babies. There are no incisions or anesthesia used (your doctor does a block in your lady bits) and you're back to fucking in a day or so.

My doc agreed to perform the procedure and I have a consultation tomorrow. Although the "Are you sure? I mean are you REALLY sure little lady that you don't need to have a baby? What if your irrational, hormone-driven tiny female brain regrets your decision? What if you meet Prince Charming?" questions are a bit annoying.

I love the brochure though. It's filled with foxy graying ladies and really unattractive couples.

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[info]bertine
2009-02-26 02:03 pm UTC (link)
I have a friend that had that done a couple months ago. It went really well and all she had to do was take the pill for a couple months while the coils scar up your tubes. She only had cramping for a day or two!

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[info]shes_a_wee_lass
2009-02-26 02:16 pm UTC (link)
Sweet. How old was she when she had it done?

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[info]bertine
2009-02-26 02:39 pm UTC (link)
30, however she has had two children.

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[info]inclementine
2009-02-26 02:05 pm UTC (link)
Why exactly don't you just use condoms rather than scarring up your bits? Non-reversible sounds like a really poor idea to me. I want to support you and all, but I'm having trouble with this.

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[info]shes_a_wee_lass
2009-02-26 02:15 pm UTC (link)
I do use condoms, but I want be absolutely certain that my womb is barren forever, and that's why you have your own reproductive system to do with what you will. My muffin shop is closed.

Didn't Cloe Gate '08 make you want to adopt kids as opposed to destroying your body and having the life sucked out of it? And honestly, what is the big deal about babies and finding out what half your genes look like with half someone else's genes. If I was able to adopt a kid like her, it would definitely be better than anything I could squirt out. Just look at that bone structure.

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[info]inclementine
2009-02-26 02:23 pm UTC (link)
You're gorgeous and smart and you would produce beautiful and awesome children some day should you choose to do so. If you in this moment want to be barren forever, be barren forever, I guess. Just don't be one of those child-free fuckers who talks constantly of their hatred of babies and parents. You also don't get to stop being friends with me if I have kids or I'll hunt you down in a frosting-and-death-threats kind of way.

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[info]shes_a_wee_lass
2009-02-26 03:34 pm UTC (link)
The whole idea of being preggers is disgusting to me and it's not something I'd ever want to experience. Miracle of birth, my ass. Google "afterbirth".
If I do feel that my life is so empty and meaningless and I need to raise a kid to complete who I think I should be, I'll take someone else's mistake. Sure, large breasts and alcoholism sound like fine traits to pass down to a hot-headed vertically challenged weirdo, but I think I'll pass.

The only parents I don't like are the ones who either don't love their children or who can't bring themselves to parent the little fuckers.
Child-free is a stupid term. I will describe myself as having a "tautly vagina" and "shapely breasts" instead and people can infer whatever they like.

If your kids are little shits, that's definitely a reflection on your ability or lack thereof to parent, and if I can't stand a kid, I usually don't want to hang out with the parent. If you don't have obnoxious kids that I want to drop-kick down the stairs, we won't really have an issue, but I think most people our age (Melody none of this applies to you since I have the utmost faith that you are the best mom ever) are terrible parents and have kids for the wrong reasons.

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[info]melody_rossiter
2009-02-26 08:49 pm UTC (link)
Being pregnant, for me, sucked. I hated nearly every moment of it, although I was extra happy that I got to have a kid with my 'soul mate' as it were. Having a biological child became a case of the two of us wanting the same thing for a long time. I mean, we've been together since we were 16- it makes sense to have a kid together.

With that said, ADOPT! I honestly don't think I would love an adopted child any less. It may not have come from my womb, but it came from someone's womb, someone who can't care for it and love it the way it needs. All children are awesome, and you can mostly beat the bad traits out of them. A child is a child, and if you have love to give, you don't need to squeeze it through your muffin hole in order to be a good parent.

The end.

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[info]shes_a_wee_lass
2009-03-02 01:44 pm UTC (link)
Those people born on October 19th are pretty fuckin awesome.

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[info]i_gouge
2009-02-26 04:43 pm UTC (link)
Slinky slinky
fun for a girl or boy

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[info]shes_a_wee_lass
2009-03-02 01:45 pm UTC (link)
That's actually on the pamphelet

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[info]melody_rossiter
2009-02-26 08:44 pm UTC (link)
I, as well, am thinking about the tube tying process. Mostly because it was so dangerous for me to be pregnant and I don't think I could handle an other kid, right now.

The only thing I wonder about the Essure is, can it cause issue on the blocked side? I mean, those eggs, what if they try to get out? Can they cause cysts or infections?

DEFINITELY the best option for permanent birth control, in my opinion, but the options are just so crap. It is amazing how much the female human body wants to be pregnant. NO!

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[info]shes_a_wee_lass
2009-03-02 01:27 pm UTC (link)
Unfortunately Essure is only about 10 years old, so the long term effects aren't know. The risk of an ectoplasmic or whatever pregnancy that's outside the fallopian tubes is less than traditional tubal ligation and of all the options (5 and 10 year i.u.ds., tubal ligation) it was the most permanent. You really can't ever go back, whereas with tubal ligation you can sometimes have it reversed.

But you can always try in-vetro fertilization after essure/tubal ligation in case you need another baby-thingie.

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[info]melody_rossiter
2009-03-02 05:39 pm UTC (link)
There is always that. Or adoption.

We decided to wait until Noah is 3 to see where my health is (like, if I can magically lose a significant amount of weight and get my diabetes under super good control). At that point, we'll either get pregnant again and then to the Essure thing, or decide not to have anymore and *then* do the Essure thing.

One thing is for sure, I *hate* my mirridia.

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Boobs to the tubes, baby
[info]poetofthewyrd
2009-02-27 01:11 am UTC (link)
Reading this was like a deja wha?! I myself am thinking about become worm-free, aka, baby-free. (I call them "face-huggers," yes, from Alien.) Though I do believe I'd make a good parent in general, I'm tired of worrying about bc, etc (I was one of those lucky ladies to get pulmonary emboli from the NuvaRing - joy! $10,000+ later...) I firmly believe there already are WAY too many children in this world and spend enough time working for a non-profit where all you see are abused children and you think, why the HELL would I have one when there are so many out there that are already fucked up? Of course, that being said, MOST intelligent people should try and reproduce at least one spawn (ratio of stupid to intelligent would right itself correct??). But I digress...

I'm not sure if I'd do the Essure due to scar tissue freaking me out, but please keep an update on your experience, if that's the path you choose. I need to do more research on this while I still have insurance. Honestly, cats are enough. I love Tillie more than I probably ever could a child, and she's much quieter and doesn't hate me if I ground her. :P

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Re: Boobs to the tubes, baby
[info]shes_a_wee_lass
2009-03-02 01:30 pm UTC (link)
That's exactly where I'm coming from. I don't exactly work for non-profit per se, but I work for the police and I hear about all sorts of kids whose parents choose to be ballsacks and abandon them.

Yeah, the driving factor was not to have any hormones with my b.c. AND insurance covers it.

20$ per month for pills versus 20$ copay for sterilization

NO BRAINER.

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[info]ally_h
2009-02-27 06:16 am UTC (link)
Sounds like a lobotomy for your vagina. I know a woman who wanted to get a hysterectomy at a pretty young age because she had such terrible pain at her lady-time, and no doctor would agree to do it because of concerns she would change her mind. It worked out ok for her in the end because in her quest to find a doctor who would perform one, she ended up finding a doctor who gave a correct diagnosis of what was causing the pain.

Just to clarify, the moral of that story was not that it was a good thing she didn't get it done and thus you shouldn't get a similar thing done, but rather to highlight that you are lucky to find a medical provider willing to trust your decision.

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[info]shes_a_wee_lass
2009-03-02 01:32 pm UTC (link)
So true. My doctor was all "So you want to be done, huh?"

and I said "I was done before I even started!" She's pretty cool. I will let her re-arrange me.

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[info]brandonwinslow
2009-02-28 06:26 am UTC (link)
Wow - hot topic and shit!

I'll just say: congratulations for making a decision to improve your piece of mind, and therefore, quality of life. Apparently, it's underrated, being happy and shit. ;)

*hugs*

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[info]shes_a_wee_lass
2009-03-02 01:32 pm UTC (link)
Wheee! Life without consequences! (only kidding)

I miss you, B!

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