De-boobilization   
06:48am 20/05/2011
  Well, I'm off to the surgeon. And now I have that Weird Al song in my head.

I'm doing pretty well. Simon has been amazing. He brought steaks all the way from the Wedge and we had a delicious meal last night, since who knows how long it'll be until I can cut my own meat again.


Last night I vacuumed the house, mopped, AND cleaned out the garage so Simon could get his car in there, too. I'm excited to watch tons of Star Trek movies (on RiffTrax, of course) and do nothing for a couple weeks.


That doctor had better not fuck up my boobs.


Allow me to play you out.		  
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Things that are Bullshit: A Compendium.   
09:14am 28/12/2010
  I'm sort of pissed off about the sudden importance of the genderqueer movement, mainly because it focuses only on how a person looks. It's almost the fetishizing of androgyny. Or maybe it's just hipsters gone awry.

Gender is a sociocultural construct, assholes. Ignore what you don't like and it can begin to mean less to you. You are not a special little flower just because you are an ugly chick and you embrace it. Genderqueer seems just as exclusive as American straight culture. I couldn't ever be in it (gq) based solely on the way I look. Isn't that counterrevolutionary? The whole fucking point of accepting others is to embrace their differences, not exclude people based on them.

Example: I don't have a high squeaky voice and I don't sound super concerned and emotional every time I take a 911 call. I've been told by male and female supervisors that I sound like I don't care. That's not it. I'm just very business-like in my demeanor. No guy at work has ever been given this critique yet a lot of them have the same affect I do. And you know what? I do it because people do fucked up shit to each other and I can't always deal with it. If I do start to show emotion at work, I might have a hard time stopping, and that would be the end of my career.

Society seems to focus a lot on actions based on prescribed gender roles. I wish someone would create a faux social movement akin to genderqueer and use it for something that actually fucking matters, like acceptance of the behavioral choices of others.

This movement will be totally forgotten in a couple years and no progress will have been made. It's just a bunch of narcissists in tight jeans on bikes who want to fuck someone who looks just like them.		  
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I miss my dead grandma and the cheeseburgers we used to eat.    
06:53am 13/12/2010
  It's been three years since my grandma died.

I'm grateful for all she taught me, and for how much she loved me.

Call the person you love the most and tell them you love them.		  
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These boobs were made for choppin'.   
01:45pm 02/11/2010
   Good news, everyone! 

Insurance has approved my request to have 512 grams of boob removed from each of my boobs. A pound, in case you were wondering, contains about 453 grams. So I'll be at least two pounds lighter, depending on how much shaping needs to be done. I'll still have about a pound and a half left on each boob, taking me down to a B cup. Now I'm bustin' out of a double D. 

I got the price from the hospital for how much all this bullshit is going to cost: 

$12,245 in hospital fees
$4,976 for the doc
$1,400 for anesthesia

That's 18,621 American dollars. Insurance is paying the entire amount. I don't even have a copay.  		  
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Not now, Darling. Can't you see I'm procrastinating?   
04:43am 14/03/2010
  Dear Local People,

I'm moving, and I have a lot of stuff I don't want.

I don't have time to post pictures of stuff, but everything's free, you just have to pick it up.


Here's some stuff. I'll sure there will be another post later, but here's some stuff so far. 

  • a gigantic hinged zig-zag black photo frame which holds twelve 8x12s...  it sits on the ground like one of those small room divider screens and the photos are arranged 4 tall, 3 wide
  • a bagless upright vacuum which works perfectly. Has a hose attachment.  (You can pick this up at the end of the month. I plan to be out by the 28th.)
  • a black laptop case (looks like a brief case, lots of compartments)
  • metal kitchen canister set w/clear locking lids (I think I have 3, maybe four?)
  • gray/black oscillating fan which sits on the floor, works fine but has poor posture
  • small black laqured cabinet (about 2 feet wide, 16 inches tall, 12 inches deep) It's very cute, but I have no use for it
  • lots of old magazines. Does anyone really have a use for them? Why did I keep them in the first place?
I'm also cleaning out my pantry, so if you're poor, hungry or just bored, come on over and look through some stuff. If you really hate someone, I have several cartons of expired rice milk you could make them drink. 

Also, my Nut has been really adorable lately. Look at that thing! 


 		  
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Lutefisk free since '93.   
08:05am 26/12/2009
  When you work overnights, Christmas seems to last about a week. It feels like all your days last twice as long. Everyone's either drunk, in the ditch, drunk and in the ditch, or having a coronary.

We had a call about a white female in a black car trying to run over a white female, so naturally I say "Hey, what's black and white and red all over? That lady after she gets hit by that car," and then the old biddies in the room look at me like they have no sense of humor whatsoever. Then I ate some ham and spritz cookies, and before you know it, thirteen hours had passed and it was time to go home. So that was my December 25th. I would have rather spent it at a bar or with friends, but duty calls and all that.

But hey, I probably miss you and hope you're okay. Maybe we should hang out soon? Yes? Okay. I'm going to sleep now.		  
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05:11am 08/11/2009
  I think I'm drunk/apathetic enough to clean out one of my storage units. I have 42 B-52s songs, more beer and I have applied lip glass.

Past, here I come!		  
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She Might Be Jacquie   
03:53pm 02/11/2009
  Goddamn. The last time They Might Be Giants came to town I was going to attend, but my cousin moved her wedding up a week at the last minute. I had already agreed to take all the photos, so I had to forgo the concert.

Now my tattoo appointment is the goddamn day before the show. Sadly, I cannnot afford a 20 dollar concert ticket and all the overpriced beer it would take for me to enjoy myself in a venue packed with people.

Maybe I'm just too old for this shit.

 
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03:48pm 29/10/2009
  My new phone number spells FUCK TUG.

I think I win!		  
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04:05pm 07/10/2009
  Tomorrow I have my second final. Yes, the sixth or seventh week of school and I have a final. I got a B on my General Auto final, so that's swell. Let's hope I pass Electrical Systems. If I don't, I can't take any more classes until next year, as this is requisite for any future automotive classes.

So, if you're so inclined, send me some good vibes tomorrow. I will fucking need them. Pictures of hair soon, I promise.		  
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07:25pm 14/09/2009
  This is a reminder to myself (since no one reads lj anymore) that I find electrical systems ENTHRALLING.


Remember this in two weeks.		  
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12:21pm 15/08/2009
  School starts in a week or so, and I'm cleaning my closets, storage units (I have 3) and generally trying to get shit organized so my apartment is a little more low maintenance.

I found a bunch of old love letters. Remember when people would write things on paper? With a pen? Man, I don't know weather to transcribe them before I throw them out or just toss them.

Things discussed in my favorite one: Sporty Spice, Kate Moss, curry, being too stoned to drive, Jeremy.

Damn, it's back to the organizing. Beer me! It's five o'clock somewhere.		  
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Cheetos + Fat Tire =bliss   
03:07pm 15/07/2009
  I'm gonna take you back. Way back. To middle school. 1994 was the year of Weezer. I always had a crush on the rythim guitarist, Brian Bell, who looks suspiciously like the dude I was engaged to.

So Brian Bell has a new band, The Relationship and they sort of sound like Graham Coxton and Elvis Costello's baby. I sort of love it.

So hey, Livejournal people. All four of you. I went on a road trip with my Best-ie, Lish. It was eye-opening. I think that if I was not in school right now, I'd be very depressed about the nature of my job. If I last another five years, I will probably shit myself. It's just so dismal as of late. Everyone stopped giving a shit, and in turn, I have too. Conversely, I would totally get "Alicia": tattooed on my ass. You think I'm fucking with you. I assure you, I am not. It's gonna happen eventually.

We drove to Cuba, New Mexico to go to the Rainbow Gathering. I was a camping virgin, but I think I did okay. We were 9000 feet in elevation. The drive was beautiful. We didn't kill each other. Here are some photos. I need to smoke more pot and fuck more dudes who play the banjo.

I had an awesome time, and next year, when we go, I promise to dislodge the stick in my anus.





I was stoned, and this was amazing.





Lish and Tree. Ah, fer cute!


Oh, Pete!


Muddy and amazing




This is how you backpack, Bitches!










There's one in every crowd.





There are more photos HERE

Thank you, and good night.		  
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08:46am 26/06/2009
  Since many of you have a stupid facebook account, there's something you should know:


Peanut has her own facebook account


TinyPeanutCat		  
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She has a serious case of ManFace!   
10:23am 23/06/2009
 

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Ancestry search - Black and white photographs

  
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The great fucking outdoors.   
07:33am 19/06/2009
  Hello Friends.

Me and Lish are going camping in New Mexico in a couple days. I'm a camping virgin, and when it comes to packing, I'm at a loss for what I should take.

We're going to camp out in Parque Venado in the Santa Fe National Forest near Cuba, New Mexico. So far, I have a sleeping bag, a giant hat, and a tent. I need bug repellent, a suitable backpack, a vessel for water, possibly a little stove, lots of rope to dry out laundry, and food for 4 days in the woods.

I'm trying to pack as light as possible, since we need to schlep all this crap up hills and such.

Does anyone have any camping tips? What other crap do I need to get?		  
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Paint your wagon   
07:45pm 08/06/2009
  So the other day, Lish and I painted her entryway at her new apartment. I wanted to attempt stripes, and I think it turned out wonderfully. It's amazing what you can do with a level, tape measure and a rickety chair.

I'd cut this, but no one is on livejournal anymore, so maybe one person might bitch about it. I can deal with that.

Step one: Dress like a homeless runaway.



Get some tape. Try not to be confused about how tape works, Little Lady.



Paint that shit.



Paint that shit again, only with a different color.



A large bosomed, yet butchie endorsement.



Lil' Mama is in awe.





Here's a photo of me not scrunching up mah face.



Good night, kids. I need to go save Anoka.		  
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Oh dear.   
11:40am 28/05/2009
  [11:08:11 am]cnn2008:hey friend

[11:09:24 am]anesthesize:hey, how are you?

[11:09:44 am]cnn2008:im good and u?

[11:09:50 am]anesthesize:wonderful

[11:09:56 am]cnn2008:nice

[11:09:58 am]anesthesize:it's a beautiful day

[11:10:01 am]cnn2008:how is school?

[11:10:06 am]cnn2008:it is

[11:10:46 am]anesthesize:school is mentally stimulaing

[11:10:52 am]cnn2008:o ok

[11:16:46 am]cnn2008:so ur looking for guys and girls or just girls

[11:16:59 am]anesthesize:i'd love to find a girl

[11:17:11 am]cnn2008:really

[11:17:24 am]cnn2008:would u mind if she was black

[11:18:20 am]anesthesize:i'm attracted to people's personality, so it doesn't matter what their ethnicity is

[11:18:35 am]cnn2008:o ok

[11:18:38 am]cnn2008:coo

[11:19:00 am]cnn2008:well i will tell her about u

[11:19:07 am]cnn2008:and have u choose

[11:19:11 am]anesthesize:is is your girlfriend?

[11:19:25 am]cnn2008:no

[11:19:37 am]cnn2008:but she is bi

[11:19:50 am]anesthesize:who is she to you? sister? best friend?

[11:20:05 am]cnn2008:she is just a fried

[11:20:09 am]cnn2008:friend

[11:20:20 am]cnn2008:she is more into hip hop tho

[11:20:32 am]cnn2008:she has a coke bottle shape

[11:20:37 am]anesthesize:that's cool. i can call her Lil Mama

[11:21:04 am]cnn2008:her name is tanisha

[11:22:12 am]anesthesize:yeah? tell me more!

[11:22:31 am]cnn2008:she is frm chicago

[11:22:41 am]cnn2008:we went to college together

[11:22:52 am]cnn2008:she loves to dance

[11:23:00 am]anesthesize:i love to dance too!

[11:23:02 am]cnn2008:she likes girly women

[11:23:27 am]cnn2008:she likes big booty women who r still small

[11:23:34 am]cnn2008:not fat

[11:23:44 am]cnn2008:she loves animals

[11:23:57 am]cnn2008:shes athletic

[11:24:05 am]cnn2008:Loves God

[11:24:06 am]anesthesize:my butt is small-ish :(

[11:24:24 am]cnn2008:o it is

[11:25:08 am]anesthesize:but i could gain some weight

[11:25:14 am]cnn2008:ok

[11:25:31 am]cnn2008:she is a bartender

[11:25:51 am]cnn2008:and a former go go dancer		  
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11:19am 27/05/2009
  I decided to post a fake profile on okcupid, just to see what would happen. I've been bombarded with instant messages from total douchebags.

Here's my fucking amazing profile

And here are some of the jerks who message me:

Jerk 1

Some guy advises: "wow, you sound pretty intimidating. smart, goodlooking, hard worker, high sttandards. shit, i feel like i'm crossing the line just talking to you".

You can be a total asshole to people, and they will continue talking to you because you look totally easy.

This guy wants to give me a massage

One guy was like "I LOVE TO DANCE." And his interests are as follows:

DANCIN , DANCIN , DANCIN wit Ray-gaytoneras!!!!!!!! Reading and Writing poetry!!!! TAKING LONG WALKS AROUND THE LAKES IN THE MOONLIGHT!!! Going back to old places I USED TO LIVE aka RESIDE AT!!! "Fading" people's hair ("That means cutting hair" for those that dont know). I love to cook all kinds of foods , especially kat fish , chicken , apple pie (from scratch) , lasania (from scratch) , Chicken & Dumplings , (that how we used to do it in Marrietta , GA. Shout out to Marrietta and Smerna , GA) , So if you wanna see me in cookin , well see me then!!! I will shoot ya down like Emerill did Martha Stewart!!!		  
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Free time!   
10:05pm 12/05/2009
  The Lish scrapbook is happening almost effortlessly.

  
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shes_a_wee_lass
 
 
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